Intervention! for Barack and Co.


Plus… eerie parallels to an
M. Knight Shyamalan plot,
and Slick Willie revisited

Watching Barack Obama’s long fall from grace is like witnessing Mel Gibson’s very public meltdown in slow motion… or the evolution of Michael Jackson from Incredible to Incredibly Scary. It’s fascinating to watch someone implode at first, but at some point, you’re like, “This is getting painful. I can’t look anymore.”

Ditto for Obama and his Congressional cohorts. At first, it was entertaining to watch his ego deflate, as he realized his hour as America’s Golden Boy had drawn to a close, and that he would no longer be treated like a hero for his oratory skills.

I was hoping the blow to his ego would be good for the president, and that he would benefit by realizing game time is over and get down to work on the economy. Of course, this didn’t happen, but Obama is a reliable politician, and has responded to all the unjustified criticism with a blend of classic and novelty political warfare.

 

The first strategy is the Washington, D.C. classic, the “Evasion Technique”. Evasion encompasses everything from lying, denial, destroying evidence, to “I didn’t do it, nobody saw me do it, nobody can prove I did it.”

The other strategy clearly at play, we’ll call “The Village” technique, in honor of the movie by M. Night Shyamalon  (partial spoiler alert).

Joaquin prior to massive freak out, which ended up being staged.

The movie is set in an idealistic, prosperous village, ringed by a vast forest. The populace of the village is happy and hardworking, and their bliss is only disturbed by an ever-present threat from a group of would-be assailants. These unseen villains hide in the forest, vigilantly waiting for an opportunity to attack. The younger residents are constantly admonished to stay close to the village, to never go out alone, and to be content at home. Later, the violent people in the woods are found to be inventions of the older members of the community to keep the youthful from straying.

Democrats’ current strategy is just slightly altered: the frightened, helpless populace is in place, along with the senselessly evil Republicans, and the ever-present threat of ambush. It’s not a bad strategy. Americans do love the cinema! But we do not overlook or forgive holes in the plot, and there are two in the Democrats’ current story.

Look out! There are Republicans everywhere!!!

One, Republicans are in the minority in the House of Representatives and the Senate, and have been since Obama took office. That means they can’t single-handedly defeat any legislation without a number of Democrats helping them out. So is there a traitor Democrat we’re supposed to sniff out?

Also – and this is minor – but the Republicans are miscast a little. Sure, we don’t want them spying on us in the woods, but even under the best of circumstances, they aren’t very frightening. The most dire threat they’ve come up with is a rowdy Town Hall meeting.

The other plot hole is the people in the Village were happy and prosperous, and only wanted to keep living like they had been. Americans are desperate, and would welcome any change at all.

The government was once our spoiled toddler. We could smile contemptuously at its antics, and turn a blind eye when it thought it was pulling something over on us. Suddenly, Big Government morphed into a meth-addicted adult, and is passed out on the front lawn for the whole world community to see.

It’s time for us to a) acknowledge that we (citizens) are partly to blame for this sad state of affairs since we turned the other way so long, and b) attempt to fix the situation. What to do? Of course, the majority of Congress deserves to be rotting in jail, but we remember them as they once were and can’t bear to be that harsh. So I vote that instead of calling the cops to pick up this sorry mob, we simply adopt a Tough Love strategy. “You’re cut off, Congress (& President). We’re prepared to vote you out. We won’t take your calls, or give you money, or let you stay in office. Not until you straighten yourselves out.”

It’s clear that these ne’er-do-we’lls do not grasp the enormity of the situation. While Team Democrat and Team Republican try to recreate the Twilight rivalry seen in adolescent girls everyone, the country suffers.

Nero’s probably watching on an HD television in hell, thinking, “Damn, at least I played a fiddle. These guys got nothin.” But despite being told repeatedly in the clearest ways possible, no one expected the federal government to do its job efficiently.

Case in point: at a fundraiser last week, Obama said the public should celebrate all the good things he’s done, rather than focusing on where his plans have fallen short. As an example, we didn’t get the public option passed but we got universal healthcare. Focus on that.

All right, that’s it! That’s it. INTERVENTION!

Sigh… sit down, Barack. It hurts me to see you this way. No, I don’t like your politics, and I didn’t vote for you. But you seem like an okay guy. It’s clear you have NO IDEA why Americans are mad.

We’re not mad you didn’t get the public option passed. We didn’t want healthcare reform at all (the largest protests in American history were going on outside, remember) The back room deals, the crazed spending, and broken promises about the war aren’t good either.

You don’t have to do the popular thing all the time. A routine disregard of the public’s wishes, with respect to issues ranging from healthcare to illegal amnesty, is not the way a Republic is supposed to work. Are you awake?

Even his supporters can only fondly remember Obama as he was on the campaign trail: Earnest. Passionate. Teleprompted. It’s hard to accept the same guy is slumped over a desk in the Oval Office, debating how much to raise your taxes to pay for an initiative you don’t want.

Does it make you rethink the Clinton presidency? Bill caught all kinds of flack for “governing by the polls” & his strategy of doing whatever 51% or more of the people wanted. If Americans wanted Clinton to chop off his right arm, no problemo. He’d just authorize it with his left hand. It showed a lack of confidence, perhaps, and a need for approval, but most of us liked Bill. He led one of the most prosperous periods in recent history, and showcased modern Democrats at their best.

Oh suddenly, I’m not so bad anymore, eh?

Now, with Obama’s never-ending quest to spend more on things we don’t want, it’s hard not to recall the old days with Bill, when all we had to worry about were stained blue dresses and what the true meaning of the word “is” is.

Even those who so enjoyed moralizing over his personal life would gladly take the jolly old sinner back now if only we could rid ourselves of Obama.

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One thought on “Intervention! for Barack and Co.

  1. Pingback: Audacious Paths to an Obama Reelection « Lost in the Garden

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