Investigation Discovery ghost spirit unsolved mystery murder victim tragedy supernatural

Exploited Tragedies, Parodied Victims

The Investigation Discovery channel has a terrible show called Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets. Each episode is about a real murder where the “victim” narrates their story while reenactments are played.

Turns out, Jason just liked hockey.

You watch scenarios play out while the victim hints strongly at the killer’s identity. I guess the intent is to make the victim’s voice sounds disembodied and ghostly, but it sounds like it was recorded in a Campbell’s soup can. After several obvious clues pointing to one person, you get this tomato surprise: “But it turns out, Jason had an air-tight alibi for that night. I knew he’d never hurt me. So who did?” On to the next scenario.

I’ve seen a couple of episodes, and each murder victim has been from the south. The victim always has a cheesy, unrealistic accent, and says things like, “I always loved huntin. Folks says the worst day huntin is better’n the best day workin. I don’t know if I agree. Last time I went huntin’, I was the prey!” It’s sort of like The Wonder Years, with Kevin Arnold’s future self narrating his life. Except the future self is dead and the narrator is Ernest.

Who'd wanna kill me, Vern?

I also suspect the producers are taking some pretty big liberties with the storytelling by making each victim appear to be incredibly naive and angelic.

For instance, say the actual story was that the victim met someone at a coffee shop or bar, chats with them for a while, then offers to give them a ride home. The stranger then turns out to be a murderer. That’s a really sad story, just by itself.

There must be some way I can further exploit this tragedy...

But not sad and sappy enough for Stolen Voices, Buried Secrets, whose version would probably go something like this: Ever since the day I was born, I devoted my life to helpin’ others. Daddy always said I was a little ray of sunshine. I never could stand to see someone hurt or worried or waitin’ in line at the grocery store. I always did my very best to help, even if it meant goin’ out of my way a little, cause that’s the right thing to do. That night, when I saw The Killer standin’ around, lookin’ murderous, I knew I had to offer him a ride. I never thought he’d harm me.”

Isn’t it bad enough for these poor people to be murdered? Why does the Investigation Discovery channel need to make them look stupid too?

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