Jersey Shore ethical herpes

The Jersey Shore: In the Name of Humanity, Stop.

Sometimes it is okay to laugh at others’ misfortune. Paris Hilton, for instance, is fair game. Many people sneered at her recent claim that she thought the cocaine in her purse was gum, but if you reflect on this, you’ll find that such a mistake is well within her capabilities. So is failing third grade.

Worth the Bad Karma?

There are also the borderline instances, where you run the risk of going to hell for laughing. Think about when Ray Charles was photographed singing into the wrong end of the microphone. Or people-watching at Wal-Mart. Oh, it’s questionable humor, all right.

And this brings us to the cast of the Jersey Shore.

Jersey Shore: Miami collected the same specimen of bright orange humanity that collected on the eastern seaboard last season, and deposited them in Miami, Florida. It is unclear whether MTV targeted Floridians for some reason, or if it thoughtlessly inflicted the Jersey crew at random.

There are a host of complex issues to consider. What’s wrong with empowering the mentally handicapped, you ask.

You make a good point, but you have to admit, Jersey Shore is really riding a thin line that could easily slip into exploitation. It is one thing to snicker as they stumble around in sunglasses at night but MTV goes over the line as they film the cast struggling with the English language, wandering around in t-shirts that were cutting edge style back in the 1980s, and rapidly spreading the Clap amongst themselves.

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It’s tasteless, and I call on the ACLU and Human Rights Campaign to intervene. Why aren’t you helping? Watching 2 – 3 minutes of footage establishes beyond doubt that this group is incapable of advancing beyond the most basic of human functions; for some cast members, even this is debatable. (I’m looking at you, Ronnie.)

Look at it from another point of view: if left unchecked, it is only a matter of time until they produce more bright-orange fist-pumping offspring. In the name of humanity, intervene. They shouldn’t be difficult to find. You could ask around for the Situation. (See if anybody says, “The Situation who?”). Follow the scent of Aquanet. And once you get close you really can’t miss them.

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