Last Words Connoisseur

Last words are weirdly fascinating. Sometimes they sum up the person’s essence in a few words, other times they seem wildly out of character.

Though in Hollywood, last words are uniformly ridiculous (see Point Break), real life last words can be deeply moving, funny, sad, cruel…

"My whole life has been about this moment, Johnny. C'mon, compadre, c'mon!"

“My whole life has been about this moment, Johnny!”

Most last words are conventional like, “I love you” or “By the way, I cut you out of my will a few years back.”

Let’s examine some others.

Witty farewells. François Rabelais said: “I owe much; I have nothing; the rest I leave to the poor.” Which is a cute way of letting his creditors down easy.

When Oscar Wilde died in 1900, his last words were, “Either that wallpaper goes or I do” which is clever and gay, much like Oscar.

As Sir Walter Raleigh waited to be beheaded, he looked at the axe and said, “It is a sharp medicine, but a sure cure for all ills.”

Beautiful farewells. George Harrison said, “Love one another.” Bo Diddley’s last words were, “I’m goin’ to heaven! I’m comin’ home.”

But far more intriguing are the last words of the total jerk. Karl Marx’ parting words were: “Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven’t said enough!”

Joan Crawford, who was a delight by anyone’s standards, hissed: “Damn it! Don’t you dare ask God to help me!”

Continue reading

Advertisements

In the Clutches of Sister Wives

Have you seen Sister Wives on TLC? 

It’s a reality show that chronicles the life of the Browns, a large polygamist family from Utah.

Reality television is of course, a man-made disaster that kills brain cells on contact, and it should be avoided at all costs. Yet in the case of Sister Wives, I am helpless against its power. Viewers of this show are literally mesmerized, and are not to be held responsible for their condition.

Today is just an introduction to Sister Wives: a portal through which the uninitiated may climb to enter the world of polygamist reality TV stars.

In the early 1990s, Kody Brown married Meri, Janelle, and Christine, who refer to each other as sister wives. Over the course of nearly two decades, they lived together in a single home, and produced thirteen children. The Browns are Mormons, of course, though polygamy is now illegal and officially disavowed by the Mormon church.

Continue reading